Category Archives: Skills, building them

This Climate

In my moment of frustration, an attitude of total fuck-it-ness over came me, and I wrote this:

It’s a waste of time. I don’t think he wants this constant derision, but it happens. It’s the same tripe that the same flocks of insecure, bitter people harp on daily. I’ve wasted too much time trying figure out why people would mock other people’s religion. They don’t seem to do it equally. It’s pretty much one religion. 

They use bully tactics and hate it when someone flips that script on them. They name call, end the conversation, and suppress the speech. It’s a formula. It’s disgusting mob-like bully tactics.  

Recently, the death of a state official prompted soap box finger wagging from people. These people, also notorious bullies, are politically opposite of the previous ilk of bigots. Those ugly people exist on both sides of the isle.

You have to use a larger platform to try and make any social media medium a better place. (Is this is fun, is this cool? No, I hate it. it’s just necessary for me) 
It’s the culture, it’s the way it is. It’s sad. The only other option is to stay quiet and avoid the conflict. Which I won’t do, nor would many others.

Which is why I want to go back to talking about baseball, but that is not going to happen. 

Self-reflection is important 

All that was brought on by the now notorious Facebook and it’s oh-so cordial discourse. The hardline Missouri cannabis intellegensia and anti-cop sentiment act as if attacking Christianity are their marching orders. Why would they do that? Because they believe Christians in Missouri (namely evangelicals) are their largest opposition on getting cannabis legalized in some form in 2016. The faction in Missouri, directed by the national agenda set forth by SDS radical relics, is desperate to make this happen in 2016, they know they won’t have another mellinial turn out at the polls like this until 2020. So, they fly wildly at the large Christian population of Missouri, provoking them daily in a place that’s supposed to be where one’s friends interact socially online. Facebook… 

I had engaged in it myself, but only noticed it due to the high profile suicide of Tom Schweich, his death was just shocking altogether, but the reaction from the political class in Missouri was bizarre. Some political strategist and media figures have had the good sense to step away. Unfortunately, I’m still learning. They, those who had strong opinions immediately and didn’t step away, jumped on the notion of a whisper campaign, which in politics is as common as a press release. So, the notion that it was that issue that caused the tragedy, is perposturous, in your humble writers opinion. It was a disgusting show of indignancy from the establishment. They wanted to lecture on culture and dictate norms, not have the discussion on the tactics claimed to have been used. 

  • Being Jewish hurts with the left if your pro-Israel, unless you’re pro-Gaza.
  • Being Jewish helps with evangelicals, unless you’re pro-Gaza. 

Either way, it doesn’t seem like that his well known heritage would trigger his actions to be so extreme. I tend to think it was the House of Cards-esque ad ran against Schweich that had more of effect on his psyche, listen to it. If you’ve seen the show, that’s spooky to hear. (And yes, the show loves the coverage–free advertisement, don’t be fooled

What occurred next, truly boggled my mind. The people denouncing the whisper/bully campaign were using the same mean tactics, that we hate about political discourse. Ad hominem, baseless, name calling of strangers or even friends.


These people immediately regurgitated Sen. Danforth’s condemning emotional pulpit finger wagging. These are the same cannabis enthusiast who hate all religion, so they say, but fear Christianity. The moral and logical contortion.. Well.. It truly is a sight to behold.

GOP Loyal Government Employees:

  • Their platform is a bully pulpit.
  • Two, telling people how to debate, is suppressing speech
  • Calling that person names, using your political position to make a statement, then close off the debate, after posting your gun porn pictures for months. Well, that seems like intimidation tactics. In other words, bullying. (Not gonna name names on this employee of the people, but he’s a civil servant, not a lobbyist on culture and proper free speech. He should seek help on his need to control people) 


Who use fake names and accounts to say wildly abusive things in front of your friends and family, to prove a single point on one issue. That should be discussed and called out. That should be blocked, not the real citizen. 

Normal People:

Making it clear they’re tired of this climate, it’s disruptive and devisive. They just want everyone to shut up. 

What’s the solution?

Stop speaking and give away your rights? No.. In your humble writers opinion, we should all measure our words carefully, in every interaction with real people. Special interests and activist? Well, your special interest isn’t special to me, you should remember that before you insult me and my family, by calling me awful names. And trolls? Fuck em.. They recieve no quarter. You attack their cowardice. Relentlessly. 

It’s something we all need to do, if only to set a better example for those that will come behind us. 


The Movement: The Second Act

I’ve known this contributor to the St Louis American, for a long time. The first time I met him, he walked to the batters box in little league without a helmet, wearing orange sunglasses—straight out of the Big Lebowski, Sabcheck style. I had to remind him to go get his helmet. That was our first conversation. Followed by many; he taught me what a joint was; he clarified Rolling Stones lyrics for me; he exposed me to his spectacularly superior education acquired at Washington University. He validated me as a person. I also had strong disagreements with Mr. Payne over Ferguson and how he went about handling a movement I felt very passionate about. (Partially why Ray Downs got mentioned in my last post) Downs wrote up a piece for the cannabis reform movement at the River Front Times.

Let it be known, any attempt to defame Mr Payne without facts and I’ll come at you like a fucking spider monkey.

Believe what you will, I tweet with the real National Security (NatSec) community. I got vetted. I keep my mouth shut, that is why NatSec and CIA analyst follow me on the humble social medium of Twitter. It’s not an indication of my expertise, but rather an acknowledgment that I’ve learned to ask the right questions. This is a small example of an expression of expectance, from the NatSec community.

Mr. Payne is a Butler county man, those men, tend to have swagger. We always will. Mr. John Payne, is without a doubt a Butler County Man . I am not a Butler County man, I’m an American.

Just because I don’t like how he saw one topic doesn’t mean I wouldn’t take a rhetorical baseball bat to someone’s head over him.

I know John wants a change to the system that traps young, poor (mostly black) people in a strange bureaucratic servitude.

I want that too.

Say we can get a statewide decrim, it still leaves the precedent set by stop and frisk out of NY. What we need is a police/citizen tracking system.

A public system that gives a corresponding tracking number for the public and the “evidence” confiscated by Leo. Say 1/8 is decrimed, anything over can still be seized in NY(?), the same would probably go down in St. Louis. With a tracking system, corruption would be harder. The same with cash or property.

Doesn’t have to be made public, but at least council for the accused party should be privy to the tracking of any asset forfeiture.

Am I crazy?

I don’t think so…

I don’t think Mr. Payne is crazy either, just dedicated to a cause, his cause.

A Fine Line.

I’m sitting here, with a baby sleeping in my arms, thinking about what’s to come. It’s a cool time to be alive, to communicate with fellow inquiring minds. New ones who stretch you far beyond a comfort zone and old ones, who remind you of who you once thought you were. An old mirror that catches the light in just the right way. Sorry—a classy, regal, beloved old mirror. Both, new and old, help with the uncertainty, the fear of bringing babies into such a fray. A fray we didn’t create or shape. However, a fray that has shaped us. Cynical, sharp elbows and tongues were born out of such an age, by such a fray.

mr. smith goes to washington. you let ’em watch that AND to kill a mockingbird, and they’ll be liberals so fast that yer head’ll spin.-Chicago liberal

Frank Capra. They watch a lot of frank Capra. He directed mr smith, it’s a wonderful life, and arsenic and old lace.-Me.

She was referring to this, a PBS article about old movies.

And she’ll always be one of my favorite liberals, her opinion will always matter. I’ve met plenty.. Nothing wrong with liberals. As I pointed out here.

A Liberal Defense

Commentary on the executive order on immigration, via screenshot.

Liberals are good. They are needed. But in equal measure and balance with the traditional conservatives who also love and recognize the greatness in this nation. Compassionate liberals, and conservatives for that matter, are needed to soften the edge of the sometimes, the over zealous rhetoric and actions by those who want protection of our national security, by “republican right wing nut jobs”, ( see: Walter Sobchack, from The Big Leboswki. He wasn’t wrong, he was just an asshole) aren’t nut jobs, they see the world differently. I dunno.. Maybe this is also a humble defense of those who usually can’t articulate themselves via Social Media. Liberals broadly embrace the actions of Reagan to Lincoln to justify the recent Executive Order issued by the POTUS. Seemingly, unaware that they’ve mocked and degraded what Reagan meant to people, for a decade now (I know, stupid people—I saw Gruber’s video).

Sometimes it’s hard to defend:
My response to the post

Wow.. It would be weird if the current POTUS thought an ex governor of Texas would have any insight into immigration reform. Right?

I mean—I heard that guy who graduated from Yale could barely read. He only got the job because of his dad or something. Elected twice to the same office.. That’s actually expanding it’s powers. Whoa. WHOA! You mean they’re similar!? I have to sit down… My mind is blown. Barrack Obama and George W Bush have similar views on an issue. Well, now I’ve seen every fucking thing.

Does this mean they were elected in the same way? That can’t be!! That doesn’t compute. There’s no way they were elected under the same process. There’s no way they represent the same core principals that define our nation. That couldn’t be.., that’d be completely beyond the realm of possibility.

I’m lost in a sea of contradictions and compromise. Black and white morality, never existed.

That was my response.. To the thinly veiled justification for an executive order, that was hated by the left when republicans did it, but is necessary when democrats do it. I truly am lost, I don’t know which way is up and which way is down.

It’s loved by liberals, for helping an ignored populous and exploited by greedy free-market-anarcho capitalist on the right. Don’t get me wrong, both sides of the elites are elite and wil continue to benefit, if they can. However, will this take jobs away from a dedicated democratic base? Will it effect their money, which motivates people more then you know. This President is walking a fine line. We shall see..

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Our Greatest Export: NLDS

Game two of the 2014 National League Division Series between the LA Dodgers and St. Louis Cardinals was a fantastic match up. It had everything. It lived up to its hype, it was the portrait of what we love about the game, the sport—the institute of baseball. A great post-season series.

The star far and away was LA’s Zach Grenkie, he faced off against the Cardinals’ Lance Lynn. Lynn pitched well, giving up only two runs both to Grenkie, which is why I’d call him the star. Grenkie had a shut out as he finished up the seventh inning. The Cardnials scrambled against LA’s bullpen and tied it in the eight with a Matt Carpenter two-run bomb. Then we saw a hero Matt Kemp step in and hit a towering shot over left field wall in the bottom of the inning, to put the Dodgers up. LA managed to hold the Cardinals off. The series—a great series heads back here to St. Louis tied 1-1.

Meanwhile, the Nationals went down 2-0 in their best of five against the San Francisco giants. Jordan Zimmerman absolutely dominated, retiring 20 before he gave up a walk with one out left to go. Before, Nationals managers Matt Williams pulled him. The reliever wasn’t successful and gave up the lead. The game went 18 innings. When Brandon Belt hit a soaring drive into the right field seats. The Giants held on and head black home with Madesen Bumgarner, their left handed ace on the mound. So, the the Nationals have their work cut out for them. Much to the displeasure of their emotional fan base. Which was on full display last night on social media.

@EmGusk: This guy has been reading a book about Hugo Chavez at every game break. @dcsportsbog

Even their baseball snark is academic and elitist in DC.

But St. Louis also has it’s share of academics with in its fan base and their snark is better.

@MZHemingway: If you were wondering who’s killing Nat’s
mojo MT @EmGusk: This guy reading book about Hugo Chavez every game break

photo via Mollie Hemingway, via @EmBusk

Zone Defense

It’s Sunday—it’s extremely laid back. Coffee, music, and my wife going places with our girls. Pretty typical.

(My Photo of our bucket of hair styling equipment.)

Tomorrow, will be a completely different story. Their mother will leave on a business trip. Which by now, has become a regular occurrence. The girls are assimilating to that reality, each, in their own way. My assimilation is something different. Monday morning I have to default into a parenting zone defense.

I have a meet and greet with my 3 year-old’s pre-school. Something their mother does better, but in her absence, it’s my zone to defend. I have to completely ignore all the things that make me nervous or reluctant to go. My second oldest, needs that from me.

I have picture day to handle. I have to do hair for that—doesn’t sound that important, but the pressure is immense, trust me. Their mother usually is around to make sure their hair looks perfect when the occasion calls for it. I have to cover that zone. I have to calmly plan, coordinate, and execute a solid hair strategy. My oldest needs that from me. That’s apart of my job.

My youngest, is to young to explain why her mother won’t be home at 5:35 in the afternoon. She also doesn’t understand that she’ll be back in a few days, so I have to comfort her uncertainty.

It’s surreal to be in this stage of life. Especially given the stage of life I had came through. The positions couldn’t be more juxtaposed. My resilience and resourcefulness served me well in that previous stage of life and it serves me well now.

These tests, these obstacles as a father have propelled my own personal growth, far more than irrational self-destruction ever could. Monday is on my mind, but it’s not impossible, it’s just going to be difficult. I can’t maintain the intense one-on-one attention that each parent wants to give all of their kids—I just can’t. So, I revert to my zone defense.

These are not problems, they are blessings that often become mislabeled by frustration.