I’m in Indy. All the kids. It’s not a romantic getaway. Not that one really thinks of Indianapolis as a romantic place to getaway, but I digress. It’s sucking it up and making my wife happy. She loves having the girls with her, she says she does a better job, not having that guilt of missing out on our girls development on her shoulders. So, I oblige her, happily take on some of her load.
I recently read, as one does in transit, The Glowing Light, via HowToBeADad. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I was stressed about the confined space, my 20 month-old’s reaction to her routine being interrupted, and boredom of a 3 and 5 year-old. When I read, “My sons keep the hearth fires burning inside me. My wife cleans the lenses on my eyes. And we burn the shit out of marshmallows over the flame.” I was ashamed. I hadn’t appreciated the day I had just had with my girls. We went to the children’s museum. The light, amazing…
She was clingy, luckily I found a art activity and I was able to hold her for a bit. I even managed to snap off this shot.
Then.. We found Ruby’s area.
But we went to see Mulan the Musical. It was our first one and the girls loved it. I was able to hold Ruby and she slept through most of the show. That good comforted sleep, no routine, but she knew who held her.
Ella and Tessa knew the words to the songs. They were laughing at the same parts, then laughing because they laughed at the same time, in a way only sisters can do. It was a twilight moment of it’s own.
It is hard to stay in the moment. To capture it and always appreciate it. I’d like to think Ruby experienced a few moments described by Charlie, “There is a wakefulness between the purity of the aware and the somnolence of sleep that feels like anything is possible. It’s better than a dream.” Laying there on me in the theater, hearing the music, her sisters laughter, and comforted by the rise and fall of my chest, as she slept.
This was spot on “I am living in a future without a fully sorted out present.” I’m right there with you Charlie. Hopefully, we all get there. Hopefully, I manage to steal a few more good days before my chance is gone.